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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:55
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:55
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Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
I am not young enough to know everything.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
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I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
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True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
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I am not young enough to know everything.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 07:11
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